I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
