I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just want nice things and good sex
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
