I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I love you. Go after that dick
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
