Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
