Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
