my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
