I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
