having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
