But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
