Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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