I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
