The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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