and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize