This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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