i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
