Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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