The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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