He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
