I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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