I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
