So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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