I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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