A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
