maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize