Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
