im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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