This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize