she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
