sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
