I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
