; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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