we have pet lesbian snakes
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
50% drunk capacity currently
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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