Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize