HIV tests are more positive than that guy
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
