Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize