real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
