Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
