dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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