Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
