I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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