She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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