found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Randomize
