That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.