i don't like sucking hair
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize