next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize