Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

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  (818): Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is" http://tfl.nu/fthj
  Replies (43) Good night (7552) Bad night (2029)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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  (905): heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain http://tfl.nu/cvqd
  Replies (24) Good night (1250) Bad night (3666)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...

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  (250): Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety... http://tfl.nu/2t4m
  Replies (8) Good night (3430) Bad night (1299)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.

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  (727): It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm. http://tfl.nu/84qt
  Replies (4) Good night (2165) Bad night (757)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Does that work!! Please say yes

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  (702): Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons (702): Does that work!! Please say yes http://tfl.nu/ujrg
  Replies (24) Good night (860) Bad night (2220)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.

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  (316): Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip. http://tfl.nu/kzaf
  Replies (2) Good night (1975) Bad night (614)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You're gonna judge me.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Howd you sleep with him already

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  (720): You're gonna judge me. (303): Howd you sleep with him already http://tfl.nu/qfz4
  Replies (9) Good night (2110) Bad night (578)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"

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  (914): The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?" http://tfl.nu/1k91
  Replies (4) Good night (1386) Bad night (515)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.

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  (610): Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout. http://tfl.nu/wlac
  Replies (10) Good night (932) Bad night (539)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain

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  (787): She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain http://tfl.nu/0oj5
  Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (625)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.

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  (541): But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying. http://tfl.nu/1lth
  Replies (5) Good night (1256) Bad night (455)
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  (925): View more from California

  We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.

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  (925): We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act. http://tfl.nu/ttjq
  Replies (3) Good night (1727) Bad night (615)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.

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  (312): His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30. http://tfl.nu/n2s4
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (741)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do

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  (616): Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do http://tfl.nu/yi0d
  Replies (5) Good night (1291) Bad night (408)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...

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  (706): My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me... http://tfl.nu/ef1y
  Replies (4) Good night (266) Bad night (569)

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