i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
