____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
