Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
