hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
