this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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