So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
