can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
