I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
