I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
