Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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