i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize