Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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