i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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