Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
