Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
